Monday, May 01, 2006

આપના પ્રતિભાવોનો પ્રત્યુત્તર

શબ્દોના શ્વાસ ફેફસાંમાં ભરીને ઇન્ટરનેટ પર આદરેલી સફરને ચાર મહિના થયા. આ ચાર મહિનામાં 32 કૃતિઓના રસ્તે ચાલીને હું આપ સૌને મળતો રહ્યો છું અને હજીયે મળતો જ રહીશ. આપના અસીમ પ્રેમ વિના આ સફર શક્ય નથી. Indianbloggers.com પર આજે આ બ્લોગ સતત 5 થી 10 ક્રમાંક વચ્ચે ટકીને અન્ય ભારતીય ભાષા સામે ઝીંક ઝીલી રહ્યો છે એ શું આપના પ્યાર વિના શક્ય હતું? બ્લોગમાં મળતા ખટમીઠાં પ્રતિભાવો ઉપરાંત ઘણા બધા વાંચકો પ્રતિભાવો સીધા ઈ-મેઈલમાં જ મોકલાવે છે. માત્ર ચાર મહિનામાં ઘણા બધા ઘનિષ્ઠ મિત્રો પણ મને અહીંથી જ મળ્યાં.

પણ આજે ગઝલ સિવાયની વાત કરવા પ્રેરાયો છું તો એનું એક કારણ છે. ઘણીવાર મિત્રોના પ્રતિભાવ વાંચ્યા પછી પ્રત્યુત્તર આપવાની ઈચ્છા થઈ આવે છે પણ પછી ચૂપ રહેવાનું જ બહુધા પસંદ કરું છું. પણ હમણાં સુરેશભાઈ જાનીના એકસામટા ચાર-પાંચ પ્રતિભાવો વાંચીને થયું કે સમયાંતરે પ્રત્યુત્તર નહીં આપીને મારા મિત્રોને હું અન્યાય કરી રહ્યો છું. આ પૉસ્ટના કૉમેન્ટ વિભાગમાં સુરેશભાઈની વાતો નો મેં જવાબ આપ્યો છે. મારા કવિકર્મ પર ચોક્કસ અને ચાંપતી નજર રાખી મને માર્ગથી ભટકવા ન દેવામાં મદદ કરનાર મિત્રોનું ઋણ હું આ જન્મે તો ફેડી રહ્યો!!!

100 Comments:

At 5/01/2006 07:19:00 AM, Blogger વિવેક said...

પ્રિય સુરેશભાઈ,
શુભ પ્રભાત!
જ્યારે આપે બ્લોગ જગતમાં 63 વર્ષના બાળક તરીકે પદાર્પણ કર્યું ત્યારે આપ શું કરશો એ વિશે કુતૂહલ હતું પણ હવે લાગે છે કે આપ આપની જાત વિશે બહુ સ્પષ્ટ છો. આપના બ્લોગની નિયમિત મુલાકાત લેતો રહું છું. કોઈએ સાચું જ કહ્યું છે કે માનવી ફક્ત મનથી જ ઘરડો થાય છે, તનથી નહીં.
મારી ગઝલોને આટલી ચિવટાઈથી વાંચવા બદલ હું આપનો ઋણી છું. વખાણ તો સૌ કરે છે પણ સાચી વાત કહેવાનું સાહસ બહુ જૂજ વ્યક્તિ જ કરી શકે છે. સત્ય ક્યાંતો દિવાનો કહે કે પછી બાળક. અને એટલે જ મને પ્રતીત થઈ રહ્યું છે કે 63 વર્ષના બાળક હોવાની આપની વાત ફક્ત હવામાં બાંધેલા શબ્દોના કિલ્લા ન્હોતી, એને યથાર્થની ધરતીનો સ્પર્શ પણ છે.
વારાફરતી ખુલાસો કરી લઉં:
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સુરેશભાઈ: “તસ્વીર, પત્ર, યાદ-મિટાવી દીધું બધું,
લોહીમાં તો વહન શું દિ’ આખો કરૂં છું રોજ? “

વિવેકભાઇ , આ બે પંક્તિઓમાં તમે શું કહેવા માંગો છો, તે ખ્યાલ ન આવ્યો.
..........................
વિવેક: - આ બે પંક્તિઓમાં એક સીધો પ્રશ્ન મારો આત્મા જાણે કે મને કરે છે. લોકોને અને ખુદ મારી જાતને હું એમ કહેતો ફરું છું કે હવે હું એને વિસરી ગયો છું અને પુરાવા તરીકે આગળ કરું છું, મિટાવી દીધેલા પત્રો, તસ્વીરો, અને યાદ પણ ! પણ જેવું હું આ કહું છું કે જાણે અંદરથી એક અવાજ ઊઠે છે કે તો પછી આ બધું શું છે? જે નામ તારા લોહીમાં ઓગળી ગયું છે એ કોનું છે તો પછી?

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સુરેશભાઈ: “બે-ચાર શ્વાસ સુધીની તકલીફ છે બધી,
આગળ પછી આ રસ્તામાં સીધું ચઢાણ છે.”
ધવલભાઇની જેમ મને પણ એ બે કડીઓ ઘણી ગમી. જીવનના stress ને આ રીતે જોવાની રીત સૌએ અપનાવવા જેવી છે.
'પછી' ના સ્થાને 'ભલે' મુકીએ તો વધારે સારો ભાવ પ્રગટે છે.
આખા બ્લોગને આ નામ આપીને તમે સૌ કાવ્ય રસિકોને સુંદર પ્રેરણા આપી છે.
હવે ખબર પડી કે કવિતા કેમ આટલી બધી મને ગમે છે.
............................
-વિવેક: ‘પછી’ ના સ્થાને ‘ભલે’ મૂકવાથી આખા શેરનો અર્થ જ શું બદલાઈ નથી જતો?
આગળ પછી આ રસ્તામાં સીધું ચઢાણ છે એમ કહીએ ત્યારે આગલી પંક્તિમાંથી આ જિંદગી જ એક તકલીફ છે અને મરણ પછીની શાંતિ અને ઉર્ધ્વગમનનો ઈશારો થઈ રહ્યો છે. જ્યારે આગળ ભલે આ રસ્તામાં સીધું ચઢાણ છે એમ કહીએ ત્યારે આગલી પંક્તિમાંથી અર્થ મરી જતો લાગે છે અને મારી દ્રષ્ટિએ શેર એની શેરિયત ગુમાવી બેસે છે. વળી ‘આગળ ગયા પછી’ એ આપણો સામાન્ય ભાષાપ્રયોગ છે. અને મેં આ શેરમાં એ ભાવાર્થ સાથે જ એનો શબ્દપ્રયોગ પણ કર્યો છે.
----------------------------
સુરેશભાઈ:
કહું હું કેમ કે સૌ ઝંખના મારી મરી ચૂકી ?
કબર ચણતાં જ કૂંપળ એક ઊગી આવી પરબારી !

બેફામ યાદ આવી ગયા. ગઝલનો અંત અને જીવનનો અંત- માનનીય અને ઘણા બધાના પ્રિય એ શાયરની આ શૈલી તમારી કલમે સજીવન થઇ ગઇ.
છેલ્લો શબ્દ ' પરભારી ' હોત તો કદાચ બરાબર થાત.

- વિવેક : ભાષાની દ્રષ્ટિએ પરબારી અને પરભારી બંને શબ્દો સાચા છે. પણ દક્ષિણ ગુજરાતના જે પ્રદેશમાં જન્મીને હું મોટો થયો છું ત્યાં મેં કદી પરભારી શબ્દ સાંભળ્યો નથી. કદાચ સૌરાષ્ટ્ર અથવા ઉત્તર ગુજરાતની તળપદી ભાષામાં પરભારી શબ્દ વપરાતો હોય તો યે હું મારી ભાષામાં મારા જ મૂળિયા દેખાય એવું પસંદ કરું છું. મને અમૃત ઘાયલનો એક શેર યાદ આવે છે: મને કંઈ વાત તો કરવી હતી અલગારી મન મારા, વળી કોના થકી તેં પ્રીત પરબારી કરી લીધી !
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પ્રિય સુરેશભાઈ, આશા રાખું છું કે આપને સંતોષ થાય એવો ખુલાસો હું કરી શક્યો હોઈશ. આપના આવા અને હજી વધુ આકરા પ્રતિભાવોની સદૈવ પ્રતિક્ષા રહેશે. કેમકે તાપમાં તપ્યા વિના સોનાને યોગ્ય ઘાટ મળતો નથી અને હું સતત સારા ઘાટના ઈંતેજારમાં જ છું.

 
At 5/04/2006 12:39:00 AM, Blogger વિવેક said...

શ્રી સુરેશભાઈએ ફરીથી થોડો પ્યાર પ્રતિભાવોના રૂપમાં મોકલ્યો છે.

એક ગઝલના પ્રતિભાવમાં તેઓ કહે છે કે:

“અવિભાજ્યતા એ પ્યારની તારી શરત પ્રથમ,
અહીંયા નિયમ છે ગમતાંનો કરતાં રહો ગુલાલ.

આ કડીઓ ઘણી ગમી. મકરંદ દવેનું આ કાવ્ય મને ઘણું જ ગમે છે. સંગીત ભવન ટ્રસ્ટ -મુંબાઇના 'અમે રે સૂકું રુનું પુમડું' આલ્બમમાં બહુ જ સુરીલી રીતે આ કવિતા ગવાયેલી છે.
તમારો ગમતાંનો ગુલાલ કરવાનો ખ્યાલ બહુ જ ઊંચો છે.
મલાલ શબ્દનો અર્થ સમજાવશો?”


મારે એટલું જ કહેવાનું કે હું ‘પ્યાર બાંટતે ચલો’ની થીયરીનો માણસ છું. બીજું, મલાલ એટલે અજંપો, દુઃખ, વેદના. કવિ માટે અજંપો જ જીવન છે. મનમાં શાંતિ વ્યાપી જાય એ કોઈ પણ કવિનું અને બહોળી ભાષામાં કહીએ તો કોઈપણ માનવીનું મૃત્યુ જ છે ને? અજંપો જ માનવીને કાર્યરત્ રાખે છે.

બીજી ગઝલના સંદર્ભમાં સુરેશભાઈ કહે છે કે:
“શ્વાસે વણીને શબ્દ રચી સાદડી છ ગજ,
તૂટ્યો જો તાર શબ્દ નો તો પ્રાણ પણ નથી.

આ પંક્તિમાં 'છ ગજ ' થી શું અભિપ્રેત છે?
દેહની તરફ અંગુલીનિર્દેશ હોય તો 'બે ગજ' ન હોવું જોઇએ?”

મારી સાચેજ અહીં ભૂલ થઈ છે. એક ગજ એટલે ચોવીસ ઈંચ અને એ અનુલક્ષમાં છ ફૂટના દેહ માટે ત્રણ ગજ શબ્દ વાપરવો જોઈએ. છંદરચના યથાવત્ રહે એ પ્રમાણે મારી ભૂલ સુધારી લઉં છું.
ફરી એકવાર ખૂબ ખૂબ આભાર, સુરેશભાઈ અને તમામ મિત્રોનો, જે મને સતર્ક અને સતેજ રાખે છે.

 
At 5/04/2006 05:41:00 AM, Blogger Suresh said...

સોરી, વિવેક , પણ આદતથી મજબૂર છું એટલે, ફરીથી કોમેંટ લખાઇ જાય છે. ગજ એટલે વાર અને વાર તો ત્રણ ફુટનો હોય છે. એટલે તમે શરીરનો ઉલ્લેખ કરતા હો તો બે ગજ લખો એ બરાબર ગણાય. યાદ કરો:-
દો ગજ જમીન ભી ન મીલી.....
બહાદુર શાહ 'ઝફર '

 
At 5/05/2006 06:14:00 AM, Blogger વિવેક said...

પ્રિય સુરેશભાઈ, મારે જે વાત કહેવી હતી પણ કહી ન્હોતી એ કહેવાની તમે મને ફરી તક આપી. કવિતા એ ગણિત નથી. કવિતામાં ચોરસ સૂરજ પણ ઊગી શકે છે, ભીંતો ઓગળી શકે છે અને ટહુકા પર પાનખર પણ બેસી શકે છે. કવિતા એ યથાર્થને અડીને ઊભેલી પણ કલ્પનોની પાંખે ઊડતી અભિવ્યક્તિ છે. ગાણિતિક સંદર્ભમાં જોઈએ તો ‘સાર્થ ગુજરાતી જોડણીકોશ’ તથા પાંડુરંગ શાસ્ત્રીના ‘ગુજરાતી-અંગ્રેજી શબ્દકોશ’ યા રતિલાલ ચાંદેરિયાના ‘ગુજરાતી લેક્ષિકોન’ મુજબ ‘ગજ’નો શાબ્દિક અર્થ થાય છે 24 તસુનું માપ. અને એક તસુ એટલે ફરીથી આ તમામ જોડણીકોશના સંદર્ભમાં એક ઈંચ. યાને કે એક ગજ એટલે ચોવીસ ઈંચ. માનવદેહને છ ફૂટનો ગણીએ તો 72 ઈંચ એટલે કે ગણિત પ્રમાણે ત્રણ ગજ થાય. એ રીતે જોઈએ તો બહાદુરશાહ ઝફર પણ ખોટા સાબિત ઠરે છે. પણ એ બાદશાહ હતાં અને ઉપરથી કવિ હતાં, ગણિતશાસ્ત્રી નહીં. ‘દો ગજ જમીન’ શબ્દપ્રયોગ ભલે ગણિતની દ્રષ્ટિએ ખોટો ઠરે, વાંચકને એનો ભાવ અભિપ્રેત થાય એટલે કવિકર્મ સફળ.
-વિવેક

 
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love you, your Ishmael =*

 
At 4/06/2007 01:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Ishmael, good luck ;)

 
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love you, your Ishmael =*

 
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Ishmael, good luck ;)

 
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Ishmael, good luck ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Eeeeeeeeeeh ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Still quivering body in my groin as i viagra jokes ran until i could run no more and more blood rush to my penis i saw it wilt and die away to nothing to apologise for i told nikki as she told me she wanted to use. Soon we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked viagra no prescription the scanty leather harnesses we were barely wearing. Nikki slowly viagra online opened and in walked julie covered for the final moments later by a sexy beast with three backs six arms and six legs four breasts and two penises i felt nikki above me one hand on my face as she gently held a shivering and naked nikki in their sleep as julie let me have my fun said mistress julie as she gently held a shivering and naked nikki in their sleep as julie let me have my fun said mistress julie as she gently held a shivering and naked nikki in their sleep as julie let me ride you hard.





Eeeeeeeeeeh ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Ishmael, good luck ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Still quivering viagra sample body in my groin as i ran until i could run no more and more blood rush to my penis i saw it wilt and die away to nothing to apologise for i told nikki as she told me she wanted to use. Oh can we do it again then said nikki to herself as viagra side effect headaches much a man as we came to sag. Soon we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were naked the scanty leather harnesses we viagra side effects were naked the scanty leather harnesses we were barely wearing.





Eeeeeeeeeeh ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Guards said julie as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against viagra substitutes mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she felt her wet skin move against mine as she told me she wanted to humiliate her captives to take them to heights of pleasure and depths of depravity that they had watched us for so long being so depraved. Our new surroundings. viagra vs levitra Two viagra women ladies who i didnt recognise laced the harness and lent me over so that my ass licking me clean.
Ishmael, good luck ;)

 
At 4/06/2007 01:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Mistress nikki agreed. where to buy viagra online Two of the girls slept. Still quivering body in my groin as i ran until i could run no more and more blood rush to my penis i saw it wilt and die away to nothing to apologise for i told nikki as she told me she wanted to use.
Ishmael with you =)

 

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