Comments on શબ્દો છે શ્વાસ મારા: એક વેશ્યાની ગઝલ

Sir, I bag to disagree with the mean proposed to b...

2008-05-10T02:57:00.000-07:00

Sir, I bag to disagree with the mean proposed to be adopted by you to achieve the end-objective. Your motive is, certainly, not malafide, but the method, way and language could have been more civilised and at same time conveyed the same message.........otherwise, even Dr. M.F. Hussain is a very famous painter!!!

તદ્દન અભદ્ર અને અસંસ્કારી ગઝલ - વિવેકના સંસ્કારો (...

2007-06-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

તદ્દન અભદ્ર અને અસંસ્કારી ગઝલ - વિવેકના સંસ્કારો (કે પછી અસંસ્કારો) નું પ્રતિબિંબ....

Nice Gazal. Abhinandan.

2007-04-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

Nice Gazal. Abhinandan.

અભિનંદન ડૉ. વિવેક, સલામ...!!!તમે જે રીતે એક અતિ સં...

2007-03-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

અભિનંદન ડૉ. વિવેક, સલામ...!!!

તમે જે રીતે એક અતિ સંવેદનશીલ વિષય આટલી નજાકત અને ચોટ્દાર ભાષામા વ્યકત કર્યો તે ખરેખર કાબિલેતારિફ છે. ગુજરાતી ભાષા, શબ્દો અને વિષયની ગરિમા ઉપર પ્રભુત્વ નો એક ઉત્ક્રુષ્ટ નમુનો પેશ કર્યો છે.

તમને ફરીથી અભિનંદન !!!

જીગ્નેશ.

Dear Doctorsaheb,Its a really reality. Great.........

2007-03-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Doctorsaheb,

Its a really reality.
Great........
Keep it up,

Regards,
Manish Gaudana

HI All,I went through all the comments on this poe...

2006-12-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

HI All,

I went through all the comments on this poem.

No comments about the poem or the writer from my side,

But yes, rather then discussing this issue,its appreciated if we can do something for this issue.

Regards,
Gautam

no comments !!!

2006-12-22T00:41:00.000-08:00

no comments !!!

Dr. Saheb,I am agree with Mr. Akshat, as a Ganika ...

2006-12-21T01:25:00.000-08:00

Dr. Saheb,

I am agree with Mr. Akshat, as a Ganika was considered as a Most Respectable in ancient india. But now-a-days the peoples perceptions about prostitute has changed. though she is serving a society and keep vasana satisfied to avoid any unwated things like Rape and viciousness of people. but I dont understand why People still sticks to their orthodix thinking.

Anyway keep it up.

Vishal.

I am living in Bangkok and witnessing the "dark" w...

2006-12-20T02:54:00.000-08:00

I am living in Bangkok and witnessing the "dark" world much better. Women are much more respected in this land than any where else regardless thier profession.

"Ganika" use to be one of the most respected personality in the town, I am talking about ANCIENT INDIA (the golden era of indian history). The brothel house use to be centre of arts and culture. No doubt it was much more a kind of amusement park for adults.

So in the name of Indian culture what ever we are trying to establish,needless to say, its nothing but the hangover of Victorian and Islamic era. Or we have understood as a best practice to follow and adopt in our society.

Liked the poem so much, or i should say i have ever read such 'sexo-philosophical'poem !!!
Akshat

akku19@yahoo.com

Vivekbhai,Fari ek vaar gazal ne pratibhavo vanchya...

2006-12-19T02:47:00.000-08:00

Vivekbhai,
Fari ek vaar gazal ne pratibhavo vanchya. Nirate ne shant chitte.
Apne ketla dambhik chie te fari thi majbut thau.
Vastaviktao ni taraf aankho minhci ne gujarati sahitya ma sahitya ne naame ghanu lakhau che pan jyare kadavi Vastavikta same aave tyare apshabdo sivay ghana paase kaij hotu nathi.
Tame haju lakho ne lakhta raaho.
SALAM
Vijay

વિવેકભાઈ,મારી અને તમારી બેન દીકરીની આબરુ સાચવતો,બે...

2006-12-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

વિવેકભાઈ,
મારી અને તમારી બેન દીકરીની આબરુ સાચવતો,
બે જાંઘની વચ્ચેનો સુર્ય્.
તમારી કલમને પ્રણામ...
નર્મદ સુરત સિવાય બીજે પેદા થઈ જ શકે...

વિવેકભાઇ, આપણાં સમાજમાં હજુ અંગત વાતો જાહેર...

2006-12-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

વિવેકભાઇ,
આપણાં સમાજમાં હજુ અંગત વાતો જાહેરમાં સ્વીકૃત નથી જ.
તમારી હિંમત ખરેખર કાબિલે-તારીફ છે. પણ નથી સુરેશભાઇ ખોટા ,
ના અતુલભાઇ, ના રાજેશભાઇ. તમે ઘણી જ નિખાલસતાથી પ્રતિભાવોને
આવકાર આપ્યો છે, તે બદલ અભિનંદન.
આપણા સંસ્કાર કહો કે, ભારતીયતા....... હું પોતે, આ
કાવ્ય ત્રીજા પ્રય્તને વાંચી શકી. અને એટલું ચોક્કસપણે કહી શકું કે,
પંકિત નો વારંવાર પ્રયોગ કરવાથી કાવ્ય અભદ્ર બન્યું છે. આટલા
સુંદર સૂર્યાસ્તને જોઇને અન્ય ઘણા સુંદર કાવ્યો આપ રચી શકો છો. અને
ગોપનીયતામાં જ ગરિમા આપણી સંસ્કૃતિની રહેલી છે. વિષયવસ્તુ ખરેખર
નવીન અને આવકારદાયક છે. પરંતુ એક ગણિકાનું આત્મસન્માન જળવાય
અને હૃદય ના નંદવાય તેવા જ શબ્દોમાં.......

શબ્દો જેમ તમારા શ્વાસ છે ,
તેમ તમે પણ ગુજરાતી ભાષાનાં શ્વાસ બની રહો તેટલા તમે યોગ્ય છો
અને અમારી ઇશ્વરને પ્રાર્થના પણ છે કે ,
તમે ગુજરાતી ભાષાનાં શ્વાસ બની રહો.

પીન્કી

Atulbhai,It would have been more courageous if you...

2006-12-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

Atulbhai,

It would have been more courageous if you had posted your email address, anyways...

The gist of the matter of my earlier comment was that, there is no need to use explicit words the same message could have been conveyed in a different way without being obviously crude.

You can call somebody "Surdas" or "Andha". But the first word will convey same msg. without much provocation.

I hope you understand what I meant to say. Otherwise none of us mind for any poet to bring out the bad side of society, it is a matter of how you portray it in words.

I would suggest you to read some extensive literature of front runners of gujarati literature and you will notice how delicately they have handled this type of issue without sounding vulgar or explicit.

Dr. Vivek, has certainly done a great job and we all commend him for his wonderful creations but that does not mean that he should never be criticized.

We can discuss the right and wrong here till the end of the world but everybody is entitled to their own opinion and I guess both of us have very strong opinion only thing it is not the same.

I invite you to share your opinion to my email address so general population does not feel that we are fighting in public.

sincerely,

Rajesh
Rajesh721@yahoo.com

Shree Rajeshbhai,Atleast U have guts to come out w...

2006-12-01T04:23:00.000-08:00

Shree Rajeshbhai,

Atleast U have guts to come out with your name & e-mail. Thank god...

I am happy that we are living in Swarn-yug again where there is no forceful prostitution & starvational deaths take place... Great! Now India & the rest of the world will have no problem, right?

You said:"On a different note, now a days it is rarity to have somebody die of starvation. Prostitutes in most countries choose this profession not to meet the basic needs but to make more money and enjoy comfortable lifestyle."

-WOW! That's cool, yaar! Where on the earth do you live, man? The annual average income in one billion men country India is 1250... That makes One hundred rupees per month & this income has been averaged up with incomes of all middle class & upper class men... So, how much a poor might be earning in India?

And do you know the figures of child abuse & child selling for the sake of prostitution in India? Parents themselves sell their children for the sake of only 100-500 rupees... Not in dollars, man! Want to buy a girl for you? Come to Bihar & U.P...

Just as you said that by mere stating few Shlokas from Ramayan, the sanskriti doen't look polluted, your statement doesn't wipe away the cruel facts of the current scenario which is no better than yesterday..

Poor doctor... I am witnessing his stand since long...You people didn't even get to the core of his sayings. If you can keep your mind open, all you will find is his desier to show that India is having the Clearest, most transparent, Honest & boldest of heritage in the world... No where ever that poor Doc has ever said that Indian heritage is dirty & filthy. Whatever has been said by him in his defence is a matter to take pride for us...

It takes great courage not to delete such filthiest comments before it reaches to the world... Accepting bricks alongwith bouquets takes lots of bravery...

The RAMAYAN which we all read is polluetd. As he has mentioned in his sayings, I too recommand you all to read RAMAYAN NI ANTARYATRA by Nagindas Sanghvi, where you can see the results of reasearch of most learned pandits for decades where you can find more than three hundred verses written about sex openly. Well, quoting those verses means not seeking permission to act vulgarity in general. His true & sole intention was to make our polluetd minds clear of the era-old dust. The doc just wanted to show the openness of our minds in the past & we all proved the closeness of our minds in the present...

GREAT JOB, DOC! You made everyone vomit out their own pollution...

I am reading your blog since 1 year & in around 100 poems I have read, this one is perhaps the first with such topic. Even then people would like to say that you come up with vulgarity to get fame!!!

Everyone understand the facts beneath their skins...

Lagey raho, doctorsaheb...Hathi chale to kutra to bhasva na j !

-Atul

Shree Rajeshbhai,Atleast U have guts to come out w...

2006-12-01T00:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Poet,I stumbled on your blog and read lots of...

2006-11-29T15:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Poet,

I stumbled on your blog and read lots of your poems many of them are wonderful but this one sucks by all means.

I read all comments and your response as well. You really worked hard to generate your reponse but still it seems inadequate. I have read Ramayana and other scriptures...at times this delicate issue is discussed but in very nice way and not in the way you have mentioned here. You really dwelled deep to find something worthwhile for your defence but all you could found from all these great "granthas", something which essentially suits your purpose. This is so ridiculous. You are doctor so definately smart and on top of that you know how to play with words but that does not hide your shameless acts. It is a pitiable situation that educated people use their smartness and intellect to justify their wrong ideals and cause. There are tons of other subjects but you know something controversial and related to sex would definately make your site more popular. After all controversy is publicity without efforts.

Lots of poets and writers have written about this wonderful subject but very few crossed the border of "Ashlilata". You shamelessly did that.

On a different note, now a days it is rarity to have somebody die of starvation. Prostitutes in most countries choose this profession not to meet the basic needs but to make more money and enjoy comfortable lifestyle. We see reports of everyday collegegirl turning to prostitution for extra pocketmoney. I am based in USA where girls choose this profession by choice and not by force and probably same may be true for lots of other places. There may be few who have been coerced into this profession but largely it is by choice in current age and time. So this pain is something they chose to have with all the money they receive with it.

If one is strong enough and decide to live on ideals they can still survive without being prostitutes, but again that is separate discussion.

I don't think you did any poetic justice to anybody. I realize that people have praised you for this but hey listen it is a fashion in community to praise somebody who goes against the flow and lately this is fashion in our society so I personally think what you have written is absolutely "BULLSHIT" as far as this poem goes.

At the same time God has given you this wonderful ability to play with words...use it to generate hope, to generate momentum, to motivate people in direction which takes them to path of progress.

"jya na pahoche kavi, tya pahoche ravi". You can use your power to bring somebody out of absolute hopelessness, you can use this to praise what has been bestowed upon us - wonderful nature, singing birds and lots of other things.

If you think of prostitute, go to one and tell her this poem personally may be she will not charge you but do not publicly display the dirt in your mind.

I am harsh here in my opinion which I am usually not but I think it is pretty much required here.

regards,

Rajesh
rajesh721@yahoo.com

Honestly! I had little hard time understanding thi...

2006-11-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

Honestly! I had little hard time understanding this creation. It may be because I don't read Gujarati that often or may be because i am from out side of India where little things like this don't make this much commotion.

I read the poem and i read the comments from all the readers. This could easily be translated into a tale about a young man who is living in a fast pased life.

This is a delicate subject and I congratulate Vivekbhai for putting his hands in snake's pitt. Its a bitter truth of our society.

સુરજ બે જાંઘ વચ્ચે સુર્ય ઘુસી ગયો, શાયદ ફરી ઉગશે ...

2006-11-27T21:56:00.000-08:00

સુરજ બે જાંઘ વચ્ચે સુર્ય ઘુસી ગયો, શાયદ ફરી ઉગશે સોચાલયમા.
બન્ધુ,ઉર્દુના શ્રી ક્રિશ્નચન્દ્ર કે સાહીર લુધ્યાંવીની નઝ્મોઆ વિષય પર વાંચી હોત તો આવુઁ વાહિયાત કવિતા(લવિતા)વેશ્યાની ઝાંઘ પર ઉગતે નહીઁ.આખોને આખો સુરજ ઘુસાડીદીધો. આ ઓપરેશન કયાઁ કરેલુઁ. અચલ

Vivekbhai, I sometimes think that many authors and...

2006-11-27T07:03:00.000-08:00

Vivekbhai,

I sometimes think that many authors and poets commits a mistake in the later part of their career. Khuswant Singh touched the same subject and I heard Rasik Mehta did it too. You are also touching same subject.

This subject is normally touched by mediocre writers and you don't have to join their club.

Unless, unless you use "Slesh" alankar - such subjects hold no beauty. And specially your poem did not have that "Slesh". Its obvious and implied meaning both were filthy.

-piyush

મિત્ર વિવેક,તમારી કવિતાઓ સરસ જ હોય છે. પરંતુ આ કવિ...

2006-11-26T19:08:00.000-08:00

મિત્ર વિવેક,

તમારી કવિતાઓ સરસ જ હોય છે. પરંતુ આ કવિતા માટે હું સુરેશભાઈ સાથે સહમત છું. દરેક વસ્તુ કલમ દ્ધારા રજૂ થઈ શકે છે, પરંતુ કલમકારનાં હાથમાં છે કે એ કલમનો ઉપયોગ કઈ રીતે કરે છે. મને એવુ લાગે છે કે આ જ વ્યથા થોડાક અલગ શબ્દો વડે રજૂ થઈ શકી હોત, અને તમારા જેવા શબ્દોના કારીગર માટે એ અશક્ય તો નથી જ.

આપણે બધા જ જાણીએ છીએ કે "Bandit Queen" કેમ આટલી સફળ ભારતમાં થઈ હતી. Sex ખરેખર સુંદર વસ્તુ છે પરંતુ એટલા માટે એને Grossly રજૂ કરવાનુ જરૂરી નથી. દરેક સુંદર વસ્તુનું જાહેર પ્રદર્શન યોગ્ય તો નથી જ...
આ કવિતા વાંચતા ક્યાક સુરુચી ભંગ થતો હોય એવુ તો લાગે જ છે.

બાકી, તમે ખરેખર સરસ જ લખો છો અને ખેલદિલપૂર્વક કોઈ પણ નેગેટીવ કે ન ગમતા પ્રતિભાવોને હટાવ્યા વગર બહાદુરીથી બ્લોગ પર રજૂ કરો છો એ જીંદાદીલીની વાત છે. કહેવાતા આગળ પડતા બ્લોગરો પાસે પણ આવી ખેલદિલી તો નથી જ.

સિદ્ધાર્થ

સખત.. ડોક્ટર ! ... અને હું માનું છું કે ના તો આમાં...

2006-11-23T21:51:00.000-08:00

સખત.. ડોક્ટર !

... અને હું માનું છું કે ના તો આમાં બહાદુરી બતાવવાનો સવાલ છે કે ના કલમને મલિન બનાવવાનો..જે તમે લખ્યું એ સરળ અને સીધા શબ્દોમાં લખ્યું...અને તેથી જ એ ચોટદાર છે.. 'સારા' શબ્દોના મ્હોરા પહેરાવવાથી કે દ્વિઅર્થી લખવાથી..જે સમજી શકે છે એને કોઈ ફરક નથી પડવાનો.. અને જેને કાવ્યનો ભાવાર્થ સમજવામાં તકલીફ પડે છે એને આપણે ગેરમાર્ગે દોર્યે છીએ..કદાચ આ જ કારણે સંભવતઃ એનો ગુજરાતી કવિતાઓમાંથી રસ ઊડી જાય ...ખાસ કરીને યુવાપેઢી જ..જે કવિતાના ભારે ભરખમ શબ્દો, ઉપમાઓ, અલંકારોથી ભાગે છે..હું મારા મિત્રોની જ વાત કરુ છું !

આટલા બધા વખાણ થયા પછી, થોડું કડવું લખવાની હિમ્મત ક...

2006-11-19T17:39:00.000-08:00

આટલા બધા વખાણ થયા પછી, થોડું કડવું લખવાની હિમ્મત કરું છું.
સમાજના આ કલંક ને બહાદુરી પૂર્વક કવિતામાં લાવ્યા તે યોગ્ય છે, પણ જાતીય અંગોને લખાણમાંથી દૂર રાખવાની પ્રથા અને મર્યાદા તોડવા જેવી નથી.

આમાંથી ઘણા અનર્થો થઇ શકે છે. નેટ આવા દૂષણોથી ખદબદે છે, અને ખાસ કરીને યુવા પેઢીને ગુમરાહ કરે છે.
અભિવ્યક્તિના અને ભાવના ઊંડાણના જે શિખરે તમારી કલમ પહોંચી છે , તેને મલિન ન બનાવો. તમારી કલમમાં એ તાકાત છે, જે સુરૂચિનો ભંગ કર્યા વગર આ વ્યથાના વલોપાતને પૂરે પૂરો અભિવ્યક્ત કરી શકે તેમ છે. જાતીયતા ગોપીત જ રહે તેમાં શ્રેય અને ગૌરવ છે.

Hi there,well i am not good enough in understandin...

2006-11-16T10:21:00.000-08:00

Hi there,
well i am not good enough in understanding some of the gujarati words and phrases but i will only say that when people get a chance they will never let there self to criticize or find faults in others but had they ever think that are they able to write or discuss on such potential subject???.NO!!!
Poet never writes for any sort of pleasure.Since i know dr vivek he is working and helping out people in all ways and he in return doesn't expect anything and thats his inborn nature and now we can see the same depth of feelings in his poems/ghazals.
he just wrote the fact and i feel its not only the pain of prostitute but also about a female who has not accepted her man as a hushband(pati parmeshwar!!!!)no doubt she lives with him till death!!!!!
keep going man.....

hiral

hello doctor saab.... hats off to u... superb im...

2006-11-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

hello doctor saab....
hats off to u...
superb imagination in a tochy way that directly pierces the heart...
gr8 work...
congrats..
kedar here

I totally agree, Urmi.જોવાનું એ છે, કે જેને ટીકા ક...

2006-11-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I totally agree, Urmi.

જોવાનું એ છે, કે જેને ટીકા કરવી છે, એ પોતાનું નામ સુધ્ધા જણાવી શકતા નથી.

જાહેરમાં અભિપ્રાય આપવા જેટલી હિંમત નથી, એ લોકો કોઇનું દર્દ શું સમજે ?